Finals week is coming up in a few weeks. I'm not worried about finals. By then, I'll either know the stuff or I won't. No point in freaking out about it.
I am stressed about work this summer though. This is the first time I've really felt the NEED for money, the need to save money. (The fact that I know and want to save money is a HUGE thing for me. I'm bad at saving. I like buying things.)
I mean, I'm gonna work at the hotel, but honestly, it's a hard job. I can't stress it enough. And I mean, my parents try to understand to some point, but sometimes I feel like they think I'm being a wimp. But my knees and my back don't work like they should largely because of how much work the hotel is. I also think my asthma got worse because of the chemicals we use.
Now, don't get me wrong. I like my coworkers, and I like my job. It's just difficult. And I need to actively pursue other jobs this summer at the very least, and I'm terrified I won't get a second job. The pressure to get a job from my parents is pretty substantial. And I understand why they want me to have two jobs. More money=less loans. Less loans=less interest. ALL GOOD THINGS. But it just stresses me out because jobs aren't easy to get right now, especially for me. I mean, I applied at Target, Taco Bell, McDonalds, a summer camp, Walgreens, and the movie theater. No one is looking for seasonal employment.
I don't know. I just...I need to save money. But I also need to make sure that I don't burn out this summer. And I've been thinking about all this stuff, loans and money, for the past few weeks and it's knocked my sleep schedule out of whack and I'm more irritable and antisocial.
Plus, I need to get a job at Platteville next semester if I want to move out of my parents' house next summer (which I do, but I don't know if I'll be able to afford it. We'll see.)
Ugh. It's like...all the stuff that happened when I turned 18 and became an adult just hit me now. Which is good that it has hit me. I mean, I'm starting to look into the future, plan my career. I'm getting more and more enthusiastic about my major. I can't wait to start teaching. It's just that all the stress of school I have to deal with makes me want to become a hobo sometimes.
I just really need a break from it all. I have a few friends who I think are coming to stay next weekend for the night, and that'll be fun. I just really really REALLY need to de-stress. I mean, obviously I'm stressed out. It's 3:38 in the morning and I'm blogging because I can't stop thinking about money.
Money money money.
It's this huge thing hanging over my head.
Hopefully by the end of the summer I'll have saved up enough money to pay for at least half of my tuition. I was going to look into buying a car, but honestly I feel like with gas prices and insurance, I'd rather spend that money on tuition. I'll just bum rides off my friends. (That does make it more difficult to get a job though; this means I can only work on campus because I'm not walking to work off campus when it's cold or dark.)
Everyone's looking forward to a 3 month break. And yeah, I get a break from school too, but I'm gonna work all I can. I'm not looking forward to this summer. It's gonna be tough, and I'm pretty sure I'll have at least one meltdown by the end of it.
Sigh.
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