My parents are troopers. Legit. I don't know how they do it. I can be a huge pain in the ass, especially if I'm off my meds like I was this past summer.
I would detail out my behavior for you, but I honestly don't remember much of it. This summer was just one giant ass manic episode, and a lot of times, after I have an episode, I have huge holes in my memory. I do know I spent far more money than I should have, and I was an asshole to every member of my family to the point where I was close to getting myself kicked out of the house.
I don't know what I'd do without my parents. Honestly. A lot of people I've connected with that have bipolar disorder either have parents that aren't really around, parents that just don't care, or parents that ignore the fact they're bipolar and assume some day they'll "get over it." Mine fall into none of those categories.
I complained about my parents a lot when I was in middle school. I fought with them both more times than I can count from 7th grade to 12th grade. I was a right little shit. And the first thing out of my mouth to my friends after those fights, especially the ones in middle school? "Wahhh my parents don't care about me. They hate me. They just want to control me."
My parents didn't approve of my choice of friends in 8th grade, for example. They told me I really shouldn't hang out with the friends I was. My reaction? "Pshhh what do they know? My friends are awesome."
Looking back, my parents were mostly right about my middle school friends. I mean, they were (and most still are) very nice people. But I stopped really talking to them after my freshman year of high school. They were all interested in getting high and having sex, and I just wasn't into that whole thing. We gradually drifted apart, and yeah. I'm sad about that somewhat. But at the same time, it makes me wonder if I had stayed friends with them, what would have happened? Would I have still graduated high school? If so, would I have ended up at the alternative high school? These are things that I wonder at 2 in the morning sometimes. They don't keep me up, it's more of a philosophical debate with myself, if you will.
My parents saw the direction my friends were heading in and tried to protect me. And while I didn't listen to them, I still on some level heard them.
They have always tried to make sure I head in the right direction. And, especially for me being their oldest, I think they've done an amazing job. They managed to raise me into an open minded, caring adult. Someone who is dedicated to finding success in life even though I'm facing a lot of adversity as of late. They've helped me realize that I am not the most important person in the world, and I can't always put myself first. Most of all, they've kept me grounded.
Yeah. My parents annoy the crap out of me sometimes. Everyone's parents do. But my parents? Man. Give them a damn medal or trophy or something. I mean, they haven't had it easy either. My mom having a kid at 20...I doubt that was in her original life plan. But my parents improvised, and have a lot to show for it. And it's not just me. I mean, my two younger sisters are two of the best people I know (especially now that I don't live with them 24/7 =P). Allegra's so incredibly smart that it hurts my head when she tries explaining things to me sometimes, and Annika is hilarious and incredibly optimistic. My parents raised three very different daughters, and we all turned out magnificently (if I do say so myself).
I don't know. I felt like I needed a post just praising my parents for everything they've done for me. I couldn't ask for two more supportive people in my life.
And my close friends reading this, yes, I know, y'all have helped too. You'll get the next post. But it's late, and I need to go to bed. So I'm signing off for the night.
Alex, OUT.
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