Amanda Bynes

Unless you've been living under a rock, you're aware of Amanda Bynes' recent troubles, whether it be shaving her hair off, throwing a bong out a window, or, most recently, lighting her pants on fire.  And most of us watching have been amused by it, yet another child actor going "wild".  It was all so funny...at first.

Now, think back a few years ago.  We were watching a different actor spiraling out of control, albeit more violently.  This actor also took to Twitter around the same time, and he also gave several widely publicized interviews.  I wrote an entry about him when all this was happening as well.  This actor, of course, was Charlie Sheen.

The problem I have with the attention Amanda Bynes is receiving is largely the same problem I had with the attention Sheen was receiving.  It's not that she's getting attention.  I couldn't care less.  It's that people are laughing at her instead of wondering what's going on with her that she's acting this erratically.

We have a tendency to laugh at things we don't understand, or things that make us uncomfortable, and that's okay.  But at some point, you need to step back and ask yourself why you're laughing, why you're uncomfortable.  Watching the responses to Bynes and Sheen worry me, because watching someone struggle with their problems publicly is awful.  It will not surprise me if Bynes is diagnosed with some form of mental illness, and as I watch this unfold, I hope she finds the help she needs before it's too late.

When someone acts like this, our minds should immediately go to "I hope they're able to get the help they need" not "oh my god look at this crazy mofo".  We should reach out to those who need help, not ridicule them.

That being said, it could very well be Amanda Bynes has just become an incredibly odd person (though highly unlikely) or that this is all just one big publicity stunt a la Joaquin Phoenix (also highly unlikely, given the legal issues).  But we can take what's happening in her life and apply it to our own.

Even if someone claims they're mentally fit, if they're acting sporadically and you know them well enough to intervene, then please step in and try to get them the help they need.  Unless they pose an imminent danger to themselves or others, you won't be able to get them help if they aren't willing to accept it, so proceed with caution.  This isn't something to take lightly.  If your girlfriend yells at you for being late for the fiftieth time, that's not a legitimate reason for you to decide to try to get her psychiatric help.  If she yells at you for leaving the toilet seat up, and it develops into a temper tantrum for no discernible reason whatsoever, that MAY be a legitimate reason.

But most of all, if you see someone suffering, be understanding, compassionate, and considerate.  Don't be judgmental or tell them what they have to do.

At the end of the day, all you can really do is make sure they know if they need help, they can come to you without fear of judgment or abandonment.  A good support system is where to start, and if needed, you can continue on from there.

This has been a public service message from your resident mentally ill friend.

(If anyone with mental illness has anything to add that I forgot, please don't hesitate to let me know in the comments.  I'll add it in with credit if you wish.)

You

Hey, you.

Yeah, that's right.

You, reading this post.

You know what you are?

Amazing.

I don't care if you're 100 pounds or 500 pounds, you are amazing.  If you're black, white, brown, or purple.  No matter what your gender or sexual orientation.  No matter the disabilities you may have, the problems you've faced, or the obstacles yet to come.  You are amazing.  You are alive, and that is wonderful.

I know it can be so hard sometimes.  You look in the mirror, and you hate what you see.  Your hair is too curly.  Your thighs are too big.  You're too tall, too short, too fat, too skinny.  You worry about how others see you, and in doing this, your image of yourself is distorted.  You doubt how anyone can ever like you.  You're annoying, you're too quiet, you're pushy, you're a pushover.

You think that guy or that girl will never be into you because of who you are or how you look.  You push people away because you don't want to get hurt.  You settle for someone who isn't worth your time.

But you want to know a secret?  Something that everyone keeps quiet, especially from themselves?

NONE OF THAT MATTERS.

It doesn't matter what Person A thinks of you, or how attracted Person B is to you.

It doesn't matter that you're fat or skinny, black or white, trans or cis, gay or straight.

All that matters is how YOU feel about yourself.

Stop letting others dictate how you see yourself, and start to see yourself the way you are, not the way others want you to be.

Stop settling for anything less than what you deserve, and if someone tries to tell you differently, then dump them.  They aren't worth your time.

We spend so much time running after acceptance from people, and we get lost along the way.

In the images the media throws at us, we learn that we need to be skinny and sexy and smart (but hide it away) to have any hope of acceptance.

Don't ever let anyone tell you that you aren't good enough.

For every person that drags you down, there are more people that will help you back up.  Find those people, and stick with them, because they're the ones that matter.

And don't be a person who drags others down because of your own insecurities.  Use your insecurities to help build others up, including yourself.

Every human being that has ever walked this planet has had potential for greatness, including you.

Because, my friend, you're amazing.  You're strong, you're intelligent, and you matter.

Don't ever forget that.